The Testimony of God's Work in My Life

Some of you may know how I came to Christ and others may not. And since I recently had to write up my testimony for class, I thought it would be a good opportunity to let you all know how it happened.

Although my personal testimony is not particularly riveting, I have come to understand that it is only by the grace of God that my conversion ever could have happened. All testimonies speak to the power of God because humanity is rooted in sin and not one individual is able to choose God unassisted. The inward condition is manifested differently in each person. My depravity was so radical and my rebellion so great, yet God raised me and gave me new life. That is the miracle of my conversion and all others.

I struggled greatly throughout my early life, desiring to be accepted by those around me. I was loved deeply by my family, but I was a social outcast at school. I found some acceptance at church, but unfortunately through people. I was born into the Lutheran Church, but my family began attending an Evangelical Free Church after my parents got saved. Here I had friendships that waxed and waned, but always seemed to end in a flippant manner. Nevertheless, it was the most acceptance I had outside the home.

It was then that my family experienced probably our greatest trial. My parents decided to separate for a time while they addressed some issues. I saw the security that I felt at home melt away. I only saw my dad on weekends and my mom was less than stable. Also during this time we left our church. My dad began attending another Evangelical Free Church while my mom took my sister and me irregularly to a Baptist church not too far from our house. I did not enjoy either church as I was frustrated with my life circumstances.

By the grace of God my parents rejoined. I started middle school and my family began attending the Evangelical Free church my dad had connected with while my parents were separated. I longed for a new situation to maybe find some security and acceptance. I was disappointed. I began looking for acceptance in different places; in sports, academics, and music. I did not find it.

I started high school and it was more of the same. I was successful by worldly standards. I had a good number of friends for the first time in my life, I played three different sports, I was gifted musically, but I was still empty. I got frustrated and became more and more prideful. If I was good at the things the world said I should be good at, why was I not accepted by it? I determined that it was not me who had the problem, but everyone else. The roots of pride grew deep into the recesses of my heart during this time.

From that point forward I did everything out of selfish pursuit. I found a girlfriend. She liked me and I liked her, or at least I liked the way that I felt around her. I felt accepted, but it was a façade. She hurt me deeply multiple times, but I returned repeatedly to this broken cistern.

I graduated from high school still empty, thinking I had found something in my current relationship. I moved away from home and began attending North Dakota State University. Shortly thereafter the relationship that I had put so much stock in ended. I was broken and stripped of what I thought was fulfilling me. It was then that I was positioned to experience the life-giving power of Jesus Christ.

My conversion was a simple realization. I was utterly wretched, there was nothing good in me, and I needed to be saved. Earlier in life I had heard the gospel, but I never really responded. I had prayed a prayer and rededicated my life multiple times, but never had I grasped the gravity of it. It was here, on my own for the first time at college, that I knew there was never any security or acceptance in the things that I had sought. The wrath of God was on me and I deserved to be separate from him. My heart was rebellious and I needed reconciliation. I cried out to God and he saved me. Christ’s work on the cross meant acceptance by God and eternity with him. Christ became the most beautiful thing to me.

After I experienced conversion my freshmen year in college, my life was transformed. Jesus Christ changed my life in so many ways; I will give but a few.

Firstly, my life has been marked by a love of Scripture. I have a passion for God’s Word. Before my conversion I saw little need for reading a really old book that did not seem to be relevant to my life circumstances. After my conversion I began to see that Scripture is the primary way which God speaks to us.

Secondly, my life has been marked by a love of people. The relationships that I experienced prior to my conversion where mostly geared at fulfilling a need that I had. Now the relationships that I have with my wife, my family, and my friends are in the fellowship of Christ. The gospel changed the way that I view the others in my life.

Thirdly, my life has been marked by a removal of self. I went to college seeking a good job with an inflated salary which included comfort and an early retirement. In Christ my life has taken a whole new direction. I am seeking education to be a full-time minister of God’s Word, which does not pay well, will not be comfortable, and will not allow for retirement. There is no other option. God has given me so much; I want my life to proclaim him, not me.

Finally, my life has been marked by joy. Fighting for joy has been one of the biggest struggles in my new life. I am naturally cynical and somewhat cold. But as I continue to study Scripture and understand the weight of the gospel, joy comes more and more easily. How could I let anything rob the joy that comes with the knowledge of redemption?

I am so grateful that God plucked me from my situation and gave me new life. The compassion he showed me and continues to show me is unfathomable.